


So Unmonumental

by oopsthisisqueertoo



Series: Asexual Awareness Week 20gayteen [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged up characters, Alternate Universe-College/University, Angst, Asexual awareness week 2018, Daishou and Kuroo rivalry, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship, Rarepair, Time lapses, ace kenma, and kuro/aka, biromantic Daishou, cannon with my things I no longer wish to understand series, cuplosexual Daishou, deaf akaashi, panromantic Bokuto, pansexual Bokuto, references to my work at that was once familiar is now strange such as, they’re both idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-03 11:54:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16325726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oopsthisisqueertoo/pseuds/oopsthisisqueertoo
Summary: Bokuto and Daishou's relationship is complicated in that Bokuto wants to date Daishou, but Daishou is, well Daishou. These two idiots figure out a way to make it work anyway.





	So Unmonumental

**Author's Note:**

> D A Y 5
> 
> So. This is a part of one of my future fics called Fish Won’t Judge You By Your Faults that’s a part of my Things I No Longer Wish to Understand series. It won’t be included in the full fic, especially since that will be from Bokuto’s pov, but what’s given is already established in All That Was Once Familiar Is Now Strange. Hopefully everyone who hasn’t read that can still understand and enjoy it. If not, just know I tried.
> 
> Cuplosexual- wanting a sexual relationship but doesn’t experience sexual attraction  
> Biromantic- being romantically attracted to both male and females  
> Pansexual- being sexually attracted to all genders/orientations  
> Panromantic- being romantically attracted to all genders/orientations

“So why did you and Mika break up anyway?”

Bokuto’s sitting across from Daishou watching him intently with those wide, innocent owl eyes. Daishou’s glad Bokuto doesn’t ask for things like money or a kidney. He wouldn’t be able to deny him. Who could, really? He’d even noticed the ever grumpy Kenma usually gave into Bokuto even though they didn’t like to exert energy for anything.

Daishou squints his eyes and stares harder at the law textbook he’s studying, hoping Bokuto would just drop it. He barely got to spend time with Bokuto and would rather not spend the precious time he does have discussing his past relationships. He makes the mistake of sneaking a glance at Bokuto, who’s still eyeing him with an unparalleled interest like always.

_If you were going to kill me, why couldn’t you do it before I pulled three all-nighters? Why must you make me suffer more?_

“We wanted,” Daishou pauses and takes a sip of his, what, seventh, cup of coffee today, “different lifestyles.”

“You mean cause she’s totally a lesbian?”

“No. She never seemed interested in girls until she met Yuki. Well. Lived with her, at least.”

“Ohhh.” Bokuto nods his head on the table like he understands why even though Daishou hadn’t given him a real reason.

Daishou lowers his shoulders he’d unconsciously raised to his ears.

“So why then?”

Daishou’s shoulders shoot back up and he tears a page of his book as he’s trying to flip it. “Why do you care, Bokuto? That’s all in the past now.”

“I just don’t get why anyone would break up with you?” Bokuto tilts his head and blinks a few times innocently.

_How can anyone who hangs around that damn cat be so innocent? Especially after he conned me into showing my ass at the last volleyball game. Actually, screw that damn cat!_

Bokuto’s still eyeing Daishou waiting for an answer while he cusses Kuroo instead of focusing on what Bokuto said, cause it sounded a bit like flirting, and his tiny heart might not be able to take Bokuto flirting with him. He’s supposed to be the future cold, callous lawyer that strikes fear into defense attorneys that everyone believes he will be.

Daishou groans, unable to fight the pure sunshine sitting in front of him, and faceplants into his old, dusty textbook. “I wasn’t sexually attracted to her.” It comes out as a muffle and he halfway hopes Bokuto doesn’t hear him or mishears him.

“She just not your type or are you just not into women?”

Daishou can almost hear Bokuto making that adorable face he makes when he doesn’t get something. His nose gets all scrunchy and his eyebrows dart down – and now wasn’t the time to be thinking about how cute Bokuto is!

“I’m into women.”

_Romantically._

“Oh.”

Bokuto’s voce is soft, almost if he’s hurt by that. Daishou can hear him pulling himself off the table to make more space between them. He’d bet money that Bokuto’s rubbing the back of his head, pouting, and looking off to his right.

“And men.”

_Romantically._

“Oh?” Bokuto answers with an intrigue that hurts Daishou’s stomach. “Was there somebody else then?”

“No. She broke up with me.”

_Because I wasn’t sexually attracted to her. And, probably because we fought a lot since we were two over-achieving future lawyers._

“Oh.” Bokuto deflates again. The sparkles and sunshine around the library dissipate once more. “But I don’t get why someone would want to do that still?”

_Head cocked, staring up to the sky, upper lip jutted out like he’s balancing a pencil, and arms crossed._

Daishou sneaks a peek a Bokuto to see if he’s right about his position.

_Yup. Predictable._

Daishou gives a groan. “Do I really have to tell you?”

“Well. You don’t have to” Bokuto trails off, obviously begging for Daishou to tell him. He probably wouldn’t stop asking until he figured it out. Bokuto might not be an academic on any level, but he was inquisitive as hell.

Daishou buries his face deeper into his book and wraps his arms around his head. In barely a whisper he starts, “It’s because I don’t experience-“. He lets his voice trail off.

“Don’t experience what?”

_Head cocked to the left and leaning in._

“Sexual. . . Attraction. . .”

As soon as he says it, he squeezes his eyes tighter and prepares himself for the sound of dismissal or disgust from Bokuto followed by the sound of him leaving.

“So, you can’t get hard?”

Daishou snaps his head up to glare at Bokuto. “I’m not impotent, you asshole!” he hisses back at him while jamming a finger toward him.

Bokuto just grins at him and wraps one finger around Daishou’s. “I know what you mean. Just not sure why you’re so embarrassed about it.”

“It’s. Not. Normal.” Daishou hisses back and tries to yank the finger Bokuto had intertwined with his away, but fails. Damn Bokuto’s stupidly ridiculous strength.

“Why do you think that?” Bokuto’s head cocks to the right this time. “Kenma’s asexual too.”

Daishou doesn’t have a response for that. He doesn’t even want to continue this conversation, so he just glares. Or, attempts to glare, because he couldn’t stay mad at Bokuto.

“Yup! I keep stealing Akaashi’s book for his sex class and it even has asexuality in it. Doesn’t say anything about it being abnormal. Can’t argue with science.” Bokuto gives a victorious grin. “Anyway, I don’t know why anyone would break up over sex. I mean, it’s not like sex is automatically a part of any relationship, so to break up over it is so, so-“ Bokuto gnaws his lip for a moment trying to figure out the words that were floating around somewhere in his brain. “Breaking someone’s heart over sex, something so unmonumental, is kind of cruel.”

“Un. Unmonumental?” Daishou parrots back. No one had ever said it like that to him.

“Yup! It’d be different if you were a jerk or didn’t like volleyball or something like that. Those would be actual bad things that would warrant a breakup.” Bokuto’s eyebrows are scrunched together, faking seriousness. He gives Daishou’s finger a squeeze before finally letting go.

“Huh.”

“Speaking of volleyball-“

“Wait.” Daishou has to stop himself from reaching out to grab Bokuto to stop him from leaving.

“What’s up?”

“Uh. What-. What about you?”

“Me?” Bokuto points to himself and grins, excited to talk about himself. “I’m pan all the way around. No way I would let genitals get in the way of me loving or having sex with someone.” He puffs his chest out a bit in pride, before he exhales quickly and looks at Daishou panicked. “But I’m interested in someone right now. He, uh. They, uh, they’re not like me. And that’s okay!” He grins and puffs his chest out again.

“Why aren’t you dating them if you don’t care if they’re not like you?” Daishou narrows his eyes and leans back in his chair, crossing his arms to build a barrier between him and Bokuto.

“I. Uh. I’m scared?”

Daishou’s eyes narrow even more.

“He-. Uh. They’re amazing! And smart! And deserve everything! But, uh. I don’t know if I’m as great as they are.” Bokuto stares at the floor and scrunches his nose up again. “I’m also conflicted. There have been professional recruiters at my games and I _really_ , _really, really_ want to go pro, but I don’t think it’d be fair to start a new relationship if I don’t know where I’ll be in a few months.”

“Wow. I never knew you thought deeply about anything.” Daishou smirks.

“Hey!” Bokuto sticks both his lips out in a pout that Daishou has a hard time resisting.

Daishou may not experience sexual attraction, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to have sex with Bokuto. He wanted to watch Bokuto’s facial reactions in the middle of ecstasy. He wanted Bokuto to feel good. He wanted to feel like they were bonded both emotionally, mentally, and physically. He needed Bokuto to know this.

But now wasn’t really the time. Nor was it appropriate. Bokuto obviously had a crush on someone and Daishou has sworn to himself that he’ll never tell him. It was only an unfortunate coincidence that that damn cat had figured it out.

Daishou leans forward and rests his chin on his interlaced hands. He smirks before sticking his tongue out, making sure to show his tongue ring. “You didn’t really expect me to not take that opportunity, right? You know how I like to play.”

Bokuto stares at Daishou’s mouth for a second longer than absolutely necessary and does a sort of full-body shiver that makes Daishou feel uber self-conscious.

“I guess you have a point.” Bokuto pouts before standing back up and slinging his bag on to leave for volleyball practice.

“Bokuto.”

“Hm?”

“Anyone who’d break up with you for following your dreams is trash.”

Bokuto gives a snicker. “Harsh. Just what I’d expect from you. But, thanks.”

**. . .**

Daishou didn’t know when, or how, or even why, Bokuto had started getting near him. They’d played against each other in high school, sure, but Daishou wasn’t even that great of a player for Bokuto to take notice of him. He relied on manipulative tactics mostly, and even then, it wasn’t enough to beat Nekoma or even come close to beating Fukurodani. Still, despite being essentially strangers, Daishou’s and Kuroo’s rivalry, and Daishou’s reclusiveness – wait, why was Bokuto even friends with Daishou anyway? Daishou had chased him away for a long time. Then, what felt like too soon, Bokuto was sitting with Daishou every day before Kuroo or Akaashi got to the library. At some point, Daishou had just given up? Bokuto sometimes had the force of a natural disaster; unstoppable no matter how much you protect yourself from it.

The weirder thing was that Daishou didn’t really mind having him around, though. He did, at first, but who could resist that childish charm forever? It. Was. Impossible.

Daishou hadn’t really thought about dating anyone since he and Mika had broken up the second time about a year ago. He didn’t want to have to deal with explaining to anyone else. People didn’t understand. He was a man, after all, and what man didn’t want sex? Women thought he wasn’t attracted to him and men didn’t get it. Still didn’t change the fact that seeing his partners naked and horny didn’t do anything for him except make a part of his brain wonder how people can do that and get angry at himself for not functioning like most humans.

Although, well, if he were being entirely honest, that wasn’t exactly accurate either. He’d have sex. He wanted a sexual relationship. He felt like it was a normal thing to do. He wanted to please his partners. It was just kind of a hard thing to do when he didn’t experience sexual attraction himself. What felt good? What was appropriate? How did he even arouse his partner? How often should people even have sex? Some internet sites said that in healthy relationships couples had sex more than three times a week. Three times a week! Daishou just couldn’t figure out how people had time for that. There were so many other better things to be doing.

He’d tried to figure these things out before, mostly from downloaded books that, to be frank, played to human insecurities and made baseless promises appealing to desperate persons. Those books got deleted permanently shortly after being bought.

He had found one, though, The Guide to Getting it on: Unzipped, that seemed promising. It was from a professor with a real doctorate and not just a “love doctor”. If it was in book, Daishou could figure out how to make it work for him. He was great at manipulation. He just hadn’t gotten the opportunity to test it out with a person.

Though, that still didn’t help it being awkward for the other person when he didn’t want, or even need, them to reciprocate. It was always met with confusion and, sometimes, disappointment. Sometimes, just barely, and if he had his eyes closed and the moon was alighted right, he could reach orgasm with a partner after being stimulated long enough. Even then, it wasn’t a regular occurrence. Nor was it something he could promise. Or fake. He was a master of lying, but that’s something that he wouldn’t lie about.

Nor would he lie about his sexuality, or lack of. It was who he was. It wasn’t something he necessarily shared, though. People didn’t need to know. The only reason he told Bokuto is because, well, it was Bokuto. He was a blabbermouth, but he never had ill intent. The only reason Daishou didn’t want to mention it is because of the massive secret crush he has on Bokuto that wouldn’t go away. That asshole cat had mentioned one day that Daishou was defenseless against Bokuto because big owls like him ate snakes like Daishou. He had no retort for that except to threaten that he’d teach Akaashi about stalking laws.

**. . .**

“Which lion do you think is the most powerful out of Voltron?”

Daishou squints his eyes at his book. “What?”

“I think most people would say the black lion because it’s the biggest and therefore the most powerful, but size isn’t everything. The red lion is quick, but it’s also on the small side. Yellow is slow but has great defense. Blue has the ice beam that can immobilize others. But then I guess green could do the same with its vines.” He runs his hands through his hair, frustrated at not being able to figure it out.

“What’s Voltron?” Daishou cocks an eyebrow without even looking up.

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT VOLTRON IS!”

Bokuto screeches at the top of his lungs. Well, no. Top of a normal person’s lungs. If he’d used his voice to full compacity, Akaashi would’ve reacted too. Not that Daishou payed attention to Akaashi sometimes. He was just unbelievably pretty to the point where he couldn’t stop looking at him sometimes and Daishou couldn’t believe he put up with that annoying cat. Maybe it was easier to deal with Kuroo when you couldn’t hear that obnoxious voice?

Several of the other students’ groan knowing full-well that Daishou’s just stepped on a landmine of epic proportion and that Bokuto wasn’t going to shut up for hours unless Daishou stopped him. Apparently even strangers had noticed Daishou was more tolerant toward Bokuto he was with anyone else.

“Stop screaming, you damn owl!” Daishou hisses before swatting the air in front of Bokuto. “Obviously not. Is it something I should know about?”

“Yes!” Bokuto dramatically hiss-whispers. “You have _got_ to watch it! It’s _amazing_!”

“Fine. What’s it on?”

“My TV.” Bokuto gives a smirk.

Daishou feels his entire body filling with dread. Since when was Bokuto allowed to smoothly invite him over?

“I’ll just look it up.” Daishou pulls his phone out dramatically trying to wipe Bokuto’s attempt away.

Bokuto leaps halfway over the table and puts both his hands over Daishou’s phone. “No! Watch it with me! It’ll be better that way!”

_I won’t remember any of it if I’m too busy trying to memorize your body language and reactions to pay attention._

“No.”

“ _Puh-lease_?” Bokuto bats his eyelashes dramatically and juts his lower lip out like a child.

“Ugh. Fine.” Daishou snatches his hands and phone away from Bokuto who was still clutching onto him. “Only if you shut up about it until then!”

“When are you coming over?” Bokuto bounces up and down in his seat, not at all effected by Daishou snatching his hands away or his thinly veiled threat.

Daishou’s eyes flicker across the library to where Kuroo is dramatically leaning against Akaashi making him giggle.

“When that lovesick cat isn’t there.” He deadpans.

“Ohoho. Want me all to yourself?” Bokuto waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

“Did you know that some snakes can eat creatures several times their size?”

Bokuto dramatically gulps and returns to attempting to study.

**. . .**

Daishou doesn’t end up coming over until that damn cat cons him into another volleyball game where he blackmails him into wearing little-to-nothing. If Daishou’s parent’s ever saw him like that, he would’ve been disowned. Not to mention, if photos of him dressed like that resurfaced after he became a lawyer, his career would be ruined. He was going to _kill_ Kuroo.

At least that was what he was only going to threaten to do until Kuroo banished him to share Bokuto’s bed with him that night and Bokuto eagerly took that banishment and dragged Daishou to his room. Not that he minded being alone with Bokuto, it was just. He was alone with his crush. And he was awkward. And the last time he’d slept in Bokuto’s bed was when they were both drunk. He still had no idea how that had happened. Or what exactly had happened.

And now here he was yet again. Except he didn’t have the luxury of being drunk to give him a little social lubricant. Bokuto had completely forgotten about Voltron and pulled up one of the Planet Earth series instead. Not that Daishou could complain. Planet Earth was always beautiful. Except when it went a bit too circle of life. He didn’t like to be reminded that the cute animals almost always fell prey to other, bigger animals.

Although, that’s kind of how he felt with Bokuto. Not that he was a predator, but because Daishou felt there was no way he’d ever escape from him. He was kind of like a Venus Flytrap. He lured you in and once you got close enough – snap! You were done for. Daishou had let himself wander too close and couldn’t get away now even if he wanted to. Which he didn’t. He definitely didn’t.

Bokuto was-. Well. Daishou wasn’t sure what Bokuto was. He was simple, but also a kind of an enigma. He was an amazing athlete. And loud. A true friend that Kuroo didn’t deserve. He was thoughtful. Energetic to no end. Optimistic too. Owl obsessed. Not easily daunted. Headstrong to the point of lacking social cues. He was Bokuto. A pure ball of sunshine that would crash into your world like some sort of fiery volleyball of friendliness. Daishou didn’t stand a chance. He’d fallen hard.

Which is why he ran away the next morning.

Fear is one hell of a fuck, and Daishou woke up to it strangling him tighter than Bokuto’s vice-grip as he snuggled against him, blissful and unware of his erection rubbing against Daishou.

Once Daishou realized his predicament, he shut his eyes and held his breath. On one hand, he was overjoyed for this. On the other, the soul crushing, reality reminding, asshole side, the whole situation only reinforced that things could never work out between them. Bokuto was rearing to go right now, and even though Daishou knew Bokuto was objectively attractive and found him aesthetically pleasing to look at, he still didn’t have the base desire to have sex with him. He would, just to bond with Bokuto and make him feel good, orgasms had several positive effects to the body and mind, but it wouldn’t do anything for Daishou past mental gratification. He couldn’t bear to watch Bokuto give him that confused look – head tilted to the left, eyebrows furrowed, mouth agape – followed by a rift being torn between them.

Running and hiding was the only option to avoid heartbreak.

**. . .**

Determined to never step foot in the library again, Daishou started making use of the study room in the law building. No one ever went to the law building except for the law students, it was too dreary. Not to mention cold. Way too cold. It’s like lawyers relished the icy abyss or something. It really didn’t help the cold-hearted lawyer stereotypes.

The plan was working out great until Kuroo decided to ruin it for him by telling Bokuto where he was hiding. Then something unexpected happened.

Daishou was honest for once in his life. He confessed to Bokuto.

Maybe it was too much, or too surprising, because he got rejected. He should’ve expected that. They were too different.

After that, he pretended like Bokuto didn’t exist. Couldn’t be heartbroken and ugly crying on the inside if the person who rejected you didn’t exist. It wasn’t an easy feat, but people always praised him on his ability to be fake. Didn’t help that he could feel Bokuto, Kuroo, and Akaashi staring at him from afar. It made him feel like they were judging him. Made him feel lesser.

Thankfully, they left without approaching him even though Kuroo looked ready to murder him. It was back to hiding at home in his cave after that. At least his snakes wouldn’t judge him.

**. . .**

Daishou’s got himself wrapped like a burrito on his couch, watching TV, content pretending not to exist, when there’s a loud pounding on his door. He glares at the door wondering if that damn cat had come to kick his ass even though he needed emotional support now more than anything. He didn’t do _anything wrong_. Bokuto was the one who had hurt him.

He lets whoever’s at the door continue pounding on it until it finally irritates him enough to get up and fling it open, ready to chew someone out and threaten them with harassment charges.

Instead, he’s met with a very red faced, out of breath, Bokuto smiling at him like he was the best goddamn thing on Earth.

“Why the fuck are you here?” Daishou hisses, excruciatingly aware that Bokuto isn’t wearing a jacket even though it’s December.

“I, uh. I’m an idiot!” Bokuto blurts out, looking more and more frazzled.

Daishou gives him a blank look. “Everyone you’ve ever met knows this already.” He doesn’t really mean it, but he’s hurt and lashing out is the instinctual thing for him to do right now. Fight fire with fire.

“No. I’m an idiot. Like a really, really big idiot!”

Daishou taps his foot against the floor annoyed. “Is there a point to this?”

“Uhhhh.” Bokuto bounces of his heels four times before shoving a bag he’d been carrying toward Daishou. “These are for you!”

He takes the bag and suspiciously peers inside. It’s Papico. It’s Daishou’s favorite. But it’s also December. “You really are an idiot.” He shakes his head and steps to the side for Bokuto to come in. “Get in here and warm up. The entire university will hate me if our volleyball captain got sick and it’s not like I’ve got a whole lot of friends right now anyway.”

Bokuto bounds into the apartment like a rabbit. “That’s not true! You have me and Kuroo and Kenma and Akaashi!”

Daishou takes a deep breath and closes the door as gently as he can muster instead of throwing it. “Yeah. Friends. I’ll make you some tea. Feel free to use the blanket on the couch.”

“Thanks, Daishou!”

_How is it that you break my heart, show up unannounced, barge right into my home, and now I have to play host to you? How does this happen?_

More dead on the inside and disillusioned than he was five minutes prior, Daishou brings tea for the both of them. Bokuto’s on the couch wrapped up in the blanket Daishou was using previously.

“Why are you here, Bokuto-san?” He intentionally adds the -san to put distance between them and maybe cut Bokuto a little since he was here rubbing salt in Daishou’s very much still open wound from being rejected. Lots of salt. Especially with how red Bokuto’s cheeks were from the cold.

“Uh, well. I. Uh.” Bokuto picks his tea up and takes a sip, immediately burning his tongue.

Daishou facepalms and does a silent dry laugh. This was unbearably painful and awkward even for him.

“Bokuto-san, you’ve already rejected me. There’s nothing you can possibly have to tell me that couldn’t have waited until tomorrow or that you couldn’t have texted me.”

 “It can’t wait! I _need_ you to _understand_ how big of an idiot I am.”

Daishou rolls his eyes. “Please start making sense. Use more words.”

Bokuto wraps the blanket tighter around himself. “Remember how I said I had a crush on someone?”

Daishou narrows his eyes at Bokuto’s lack of decorum.

“That’s a yes.” Bokuto faintly continues before clearing his throat and moving forward with more conviction. “But remember I also said I was scared? Scared about not being good enough for this amazing person? Scared about not being able to be there for them?”

“What does this have to do with me?”

“It has everything to do with you. It’s you. You’re the person. I love you and I’ve been worried this whole time that I’m not good enough for you and that I shouldn’t even try. But that doesn’t make any sense. You like me. I like you. You know how big of an idiot I am and that I’ll likely be playing volleyball next year.”

“You. You what?”

“I love you. I’m sorry I’m an idiot who panicked when you confessed and rejected you, you of all people. Will you please, please reconsider dating me?”

“But what about-“

Bokuto cocks his head to the left like he does when he doesn’t understand something.

“About? Did I do something else terribly wrong?”

“Uh. No. Me. Being ace and all.”

A wide grin spreads across Bokuto’s face. “It doesn’t matter to me! You’re ace, and I respect that.”

**Author's Note:**

> The Guide to Getting it on: Unzipped is a real book. It’s a science backed way to, well, fucking (and newer editions should address every type of relationship!). Seriously though kids, don’t fall for some of those sex books that promise the world if you just fork over your money.
> 
> I think I smell a potential new rare pair love: Daishou and Akaashi. Akaashi’s too pretty for everyone to not secretly have a crush on him.
> 
> [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/oopsthisisqueertoo) | [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/?hl=en) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/oops_its_KiriBo)


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